However, instead of thinking:
Ah, how cute.
or
How nice it is that a father is walking his girl to school.
I instantly thought:
God, I hope that's his kid!
How messed up is that!? I think the world is corrupting me. What used to be NORMAL, NICE behavior is now immediately perceived as messed up or wrong.
Here's another example: my husband has a habit of interacting with other-people's children at restaurants or shopping malls and I'm constantly telling him to cut it out or he'll be arrested for being a creep. (He's not a creep, BTW.)
And another: Remember when it cute for two friends (both being girls) to walk down the street holding hands? Now, we immediately assume everyone is gay!
How have you noticed the world's NORMs change?
It's funny you should mention that last bit, Clarissa, because in my first novel the mc and her best friends are eleven-year-old girls and they cuddled, giggle, and sleep over each other's houses.
ReplyDeleteOne crit partner, who I would never use again, though they were lesbians and every little action she commented on that.... Like you said it's a shame kids can't be kid's anymore.... right way there is a gay element.
Even in my second novel the seventeen-year-old guy is commenting about another guys looks/ features, several people thought he is gay in the beginning sequence. He is not, he's just observant. Again... can't a guy be observant without being gay?
Excellent points today.
Love your post today. Now I know I'm not alone in my way of thinking lately. Normal is no longer normal.
ReplyDeleteMason
Thoughts in Progress
How can we reclaim innocence for the good of society? By innocence, I mean both "uncorrupted" and "lack of presumed guilt". What you say is so so true, and unbelievably sad. I can't help feeling that depriving our kids of interaction with strangers will damage them and society as a whole, but protecting them from abuse is, of course, of paramount importance. How are we to square this circle?
ReplyDeleteClarissa - You are absolutely right. What counts as "acceptable" and "normal" change dramatically as culture changes and as society changes. It used to be "normal" for men to be rewarded for "keeping their women in line" by beating them. Sometimes it's good when society changes...
ReplyDeleteSigh... that upsets me, too. My brother is a stepfather, and I worry sometimes about him taking the kids out in public, in case someone calls the police. :(
ReplyDeleteMy husband interacts with kids, too. Fortunately, in Texas, people are slightly less maniacal about men smiling at children. Although I fear our day is coming.
I have friends with kids who are terrified to even scold their children in public for fear someone will turn them in to social services.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that there are some things that are now considered "normal" - like differences in poeples' sexuality, cultural differences, gender equality etc.
ReplyDeleteTake care
x
Absolutely, and it's been heading that way for a long time now. About 25 years ago an elderly friend of mine said how sad that he couldn't touch the children when he came on a visit to my class.
ReplyDeleteI have something for you over on my blog, come and claim it :) http://sassy3421.blogspot.com/2011/04/and-versatile-blog-award-goes-to.html
ReplyDeleteIts abnormal to be normal. Its a tragedy. :(
ReplyDeleteah, there was a horrible horrible case of a Serbian couple who had horrible problems living with their kids in USA. They had pictures of their kids bathing in bathtub, which all parents have, parents usually like taking pics of all of the moments in their kid's lives when they are little. When father took his computer for a repair, he was arrested and they took their kids away under an accusation that he was a pedophile who took nude pics of his little kids. The horrible agony of that, otherwise very nice and respectful family has lasted for almost half a year, and even the government of Serbia had to intervene to protect the rights of our citizens. In the end the court has dropped all charges, and the kids were returned to their parents, but being very little they will forever have traumas from that event (especially since US services responsible for taking kids away had separated the little brother and sister for those six months sending them to foster families).
ReplyDeleteIt has really changed. For the worse. I am a teacher in elementary school and I hate the way the kids know so much about things they should not know. And MIchael is right. They can't be affectionate with each other without someone calling them "gay." It is sad. As a teacher I am warned about being alone with a child in a room or hugging them! It is a whole different world! Sad commentary.
ReplyDeleteYes, sadly I have. In Denmark we have also had so many cases of incest and child abuse over a couple of years that men are scared to touch children who are not their own. My husband (the local vicar) is a wonderful father, and he just LOVES children, but he is very careful about never being alone with any of them because he knows what people might think.
ReplyDeleteGreat subject. I think part of the problem is that people spend more time watching TV dramas than interacting with real people. We probably see more TV pedophiles in a given week than real families being normal together. We've all become addicted to drama and fear.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad. I'd like to see innocence back in fashion please. I wish we could all think the best of each other and do the best for each other.
ReplyDeleteIt is a sad state of affairs.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter refereed a tough football match. When she came off the pitch I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. You can fill in the conversation we then had with a very highly strung parent.
This is SO true. It's amazing how bad apples ruin our entire outlook on humanity's intentions.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad, but I know how you feel - like when I'm watching movies and an adult guy is talking to a little kid, I automatically find myself hoping it doesn't get creepy. Sad!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. I saw a man and a girl the other day fooling around on the street and almost asked hubby to stop the car and check that she was all right. I'm glad I didn't - on second glance it was a father and daughter (that we actually know) having fun on a skate board. It's a sad state of afairs when we automatically assume the worst.
ReplyDeleteVery true. I see these social interactions often and wonder the same thing. Then I catch myself as I know the percentage of predators is so small that the exchanges are probably innocent.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that people are more suspicious and paranoid these days. I totally know what you're talking about when you see what used to be normal everyday behaviors and now they're considered creepy or wrong or strange.
ReplyDeleteI always love coming to your blog and I wanted to give you the Versatile Blogger Award. You can come pick up your award badge here http://melissasimaginarium.blogspot.com/ Thank you for such thought-provoking posts.
So much of what passed for 'normal' behaviour has been tainted by fears of child molestation and sexual 'grooming'. Although I feel sorry for victims who have sufferred this trauma (and this did in fact happen to a child of a close friend) I wonder how much of this has actually occurred? Or have we over-reacted and got things totally out of proportion?
ReplyDeleteSueH
Strangers kids just walk up to me all the time. I admit that now it makes me nervous.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad that we find find ourselves measuring things so often.
Lynda's comment nailed it on the head for me. The idea of believing the best in people has disappeared. I see it being replaced by suspicion and legal action.
ReplyDeleteIt really is sad.
I know, I don't care much for the new normal. It makes you think too hard about what is politically incorrect and things like that. When do we just go back to being people without all the peripheral issues to consider?
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your comments. I just loved reading the examples you sited. Dez's story is so typical and yet sad. I agree with Margot that some things have changed for the better but some things have gone too far.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom was a huge fan of babies & little kids & would always like to go up to them & talk to them in stores. Sometimes she'd hug them. It was truly within her nature. But around 2001 or so she had to stop herself from her natural maternal urge because of a strange look she got once. It was so sad.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Unfortunately, I tend to think the same thing. Regrettable, but in a world where the craziest things are happening, you gotta think twice.
ReplyDeleteWhat used to be normal ,we now view as sick or perverse. I know that we must be careful and pay close attention to the way others look at or touch our children, but where do we draw the line. A teacher at my son's school was suspended with pay pending the outcome of a hearing because she picked up a small child on the playground who fell from the monkey bars. She held him in her lap to comfort him while he cried and she kissed his "boo boo" on his scaped elbow. The child is in kindergarden and the teacher is in her third year at the school. This was done in the open; she was not trying to hide it, she was just being nice and caring, but we do not allow that anymore it appears
ReplyDelete