Jackie and Bill - The Original Story
by Clarissa Draper
Jackie and Bill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jackie feel down and broke her crown
and Bill came tumbling after.
The End
Ah, it's so nice to have the story done! It took me forever to write it and now I want to publish it. Will it sell? Will I make millions? Should I turn it into a screenplay?
Hold on! It's nice that you want to be the next JK Rowlings but you should get it edited/critiqued. You should get some feedback.
All right, Clarissa, I'll sign up for your extremely awesome and free CP/BR option, but I have no idea what I'm doing. Teach me something!
How to RECEIVE a critique:
DO NOT ask questions such as:
- Did you like the story?
- What did you think of the story?
These questions are too vague.
DO ask questions such as:
- Is the story (at 25 words) too long?
- Does it drag in certain places or should I have prolonged the fall of Jackie?
- Does Bill falling down behind Jackie sound plausible?
- Do you like the chemistry between Jackie and Bill?
Be specific. Know what you're looking for.
How to GIVE a critique:
DO NOT say things such as:
- I liked the story it was nice.
- You are a good writer.
- You are a horrible writer.
- You shouldn't bother publishing this rubbish.
These words are mean and vague
DO say things such as:
- First of all, these are things I enjoyed about the story...
- I like the use of the verb FETCH however, I don't understand the word CROWN. Perhaps you could use another noun like skull?
- I like the characters Jackie and Bill, however, I wish you added a bit more description. How old are they? Are they related?
- Why are Jackie and Bill fetching water? Why don't they use the tap in their kitchen?
- You kinda left me hanging. What happened to Jackie? Is she all right? I wish the conclusion was stronger.
- What is your target audience?
- You spelled fell as feel...
Be specific.
Easy as pie. Well, eating pie. Making pie is extremely hard to do...or maybe it isn't, I've never made pie. Anyway, I hope this example helped you out. If not, take a look at these links from other more talented websites:
- EHOW: How to give a critique.
- How to Critique a Manuscript
- How to Critique and Be Critiqued by Rick Walton
Excellent advice written in a funny way. It's astounds me that people would say someone is a horrible writer. But I know it happens. There's a NYT bestselling author that was told the same thing several years ago.
ReplyDeleteApparently, she got better.
Thanks for wonderfully succinct advice on being a CP/BR!! Shows how I have so much to learn if I truly want to be one!!! Yay! Take care
ReplyDeletex
this is delightful! I try and make a contract with someone who is looking at my work or whose work I'm looking - arghh - I need a crit partner for that sentence! I ask for what I want and say what I don't want. I want to be very clear.
ReplyDeletePerfect example.
ReplyDeleteGood critiques take practice. And the benefits help both the one receiving the critique and the one getting it.
Every time I crit a manuscript, I walk away with a better understanding of my work.
I really don't mind what a reader might say as long as they don't mind that I might just ignore them. That seems fair. It's hard to offer specifics if they don't occur to you and everyone is at a different level so may not have anything more than a general like/dislike feeling about the book, and that's okay too. I value an honest response more than anything.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
@mooderino
Great example and post. I didn't know these things except to not be mean (you shouldn't be a writer).
ReplyDeleteI don't like to be kept hanging either. What did happen to Jackie? Is she ok? :)
Well now you really do have me wondering whether or not Jackie survived this head trauma. Now I'm even more disappointed by this nursery rhyme/story than ever before.
ReplyDeleteSince you've been a critique partner of mine, I know how awesome you are. I've never felt very good at it though. That's why I hesitate to sign up. Well, that and because I'm so busy I don't know how I'll find the time.
ReplyDelete@Theresa - I've heard it a lot. Even on amazon. Why attack the writer?
ReplyDelete@Old Kitty - I never thought that being a CP would teach me anything about writing and that it was only something I needed to do to get reciprocal critiques, but oh how wrong I was, I learned more about writing from giving critiques then receiving.
@Jan - Yes, you do need a critique partner. Have you heard about the new page I have? ;)
@Maria - Exactly! I feel the same way.
@Mood - I actually prefer negative responses over positive because although the positive keeps me going, the negative helps me improve as a writer. I think a good critique has a combo of both.
@Journaling Woman - Well, I'm afraid Jackie didn't make it...into the circus! She enjoyed her somersault down the hill she thought she would try out for the circus. The troop didn't want her though, said she was horrible at cartwheels. Oh, well, at least she can balance a pail of water now...
ReplyDelete@Jeffrey Beesler - See above for news on Jackie.
@Doralynn Kennedy - you are good at it though! You're one of the reasons I kept going with my work. I'm so thankful for your help.
However, I do relate on the time thing. It's hard to write/edit and critique. Not enough hours in the day.
Excellent post. This is my first visit so excuse me while I wander around and check out all the great stuff you have on here. (It's like a candy store.)
ReplyDeleteGreat advice Clarissa...
ReplyDeleteMost wrier's really should know these dos an don'ts when they are critiquing or getting critiques.
Critique 1101. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is helpful! I don't understand why someone would attack the writer rather than encourage. Looking forward to the next installment!
ReplyDeleteOh, what is a Beta Reader?
ReplyDeleteClarissa - Thanks for outlining this! To me, the essence is to critique ideas, not the writer. It's giving suggestions and one's perspective rather than passing judgement.
ReplyDeleteI believe that an honest response is a vital thing to give and receive. That said, diplomacy counts. Find what works in the manuscript and let the writer know. When you tell a writer what you believe they've done incorrectly or could do better, communicate the perceived shortcomings with at least a modicum of respect. It's not that hard or time-consuming to do.
ReplyDeletenice advice, Clarissa, for all who are new in the business of beta readers!
ReplyDeleteI've done quite a few critiques and I'm a beta reader for several authors. I've also crit/beta read proposals.
ReplyDeleteYour points are dead on. I always say what I liked and then specifically the points that need clarifying or bogged me down, or I didn't understand.
I'd add a point. Remember, this is their told in their voice. Don't try to rewrite it in yours or diss it because it's not the way you'd write it. Work with their style, critique for their way of telling a story.
Honesty doesn't mean shredding, bloody brutal--that's called destructive critiquing, you want to be honest but offer constructive--meaning ways to make the bad/iffy points better.
Good article, Clarissa.
Sia McKye's Thoughts...OVER COFFEE
Excellent tips. I think good critiquing is an art, just like writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Clarissa .. I have no idea how Jack and Jill became so famous!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post - thanks .. Hilary
Good run-down on critiquing! Yes, i like it to be specific, and I TRY to give specific critiques, too. It helps so much!
ReplyDeleteExcellent tips! I asked very specific questions of my critique partners and they answered ones I hadn't even thought of yet. What's it mean to be a critique partner? Being honest in a positive manner.
ReplyDeleteGreat information. Thanks for the post.
ReplyDeleteLou
Thanks for the post! I've never critiqued someone's work (though I have had mine looked at) so I'm definitely bookmarking this.
ReplyDeleteA critique partner who can point out the specifics of what works and what doesn't is worth their salt.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, be specific and precise instead of vague and general.
ReplyDeleteYou're helping me out here clarissa!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic, Clarissa! I'm so happy that I finally have a post to refer people to, when discussing critiques. :)
ReplyDeleteNice red, asking the right questions is always good!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I'm going to look into this stuff, I fancy myself a writer.
ReplyDeleteTake a look at my math blog.
i make a bad critic. good read.
ReplyDeleteThanks Clarissa. Now that's encouraging!
ReplyDeleteActually, that's an honor! And I'm really happy to hear that.
ReplyDelete@ Doralynn - And it's so true!
ReplyDeleteVery valuable info about critiques.
ReplyDeleteI've been so fortunate to have a strong, confident and talented critique group. Honesty is not difficult to hear when it is delivered with mutual respect and a desire to see each other do well. Also, working with people who are strong and confident means receiving great work to critique --which needless to say makes for a positive experience.
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